a broken female

Do you suffer from SSMP?
(selective social media posting)
I am so guilty of this, y'all. As humans, we want our best face to be on display! The thinnest silhouette! The coolest adventure! The most hip hang out spot! We secretly eat a whole bag of sun chips in our undies while we post endless perfection for EVERYBODY to see. I admit, I have experienced some cool shit that I am proud of, but there is a Jodi that some of y'all may not know...

I am a horrible swimmer, like don't drop me in the ocean.

I overeat, then hate myself. 

I used to want to be a singer, a real famous one. That dream was shut down when I heard my own voice recording.

I am the most secure, insecure person you will ever meet. I will say 500 negative things about myself for every 1 positive thing.

I compare myself to everyone around me and, of course, always end up losing in my mind.

There have been times when I have fully convinced myself that I have been single for seven years because I'm fat.

I have ran from the cops.

I like to shut people out of my life.

I have led men on out of my loneliness. 

I thoroughly enjoy saying the word fuck.

If my arms look fat in a picture, I won't post it.

My card got declined at Starbucks the other day. MUAHA.

I am still not unpacked from my trip to Ireland. (I got back two weeks ago)

It annoys me when a preacher preaches a whole message on tithing.

I don't want to tell you how many Jack in the Box tacos I can consume.

Sometimes I get so angry with Lane that I want to throw him across the room.

I always assume that people think the absolute worst about me and my life.

Assume. Assume. Assume. 

I have battled heavy depression since I was 14 years old, still battling that bitch.

I park in handicapped spaces without remorse. 

I don't really care if my fruit gets washed.

Oh, I almost got kicked out of Bible School for breaking the rules by getting wasted.

See where I'm going with this? I love transparency. I AM THE MOST IMPERFECT GIRL. I am not proud of the list above, they are all little truths that I have dealt with. They are a part of me! It's cool to be uncool. It's acceptable to be as crazy as they come. It's alright to not have it figured out. Fly your freak flag! Move forward! I'll be right there beside you.


xoxo
jo